Wherever You Are

How do you do?
Is there anyone sitting here?
Am I interrupting?
Can I be your friend?

Wherever we go,
we will meet new acquaintances,
slowly they we grow,
we became friends.

Can I see myself with a friend?
a true friend?
Can I see myself
sipping coffee and laughing at
anything and everything with you?

It seems nobody's here
I'm sitting under a weeping willow,
staring at the blinding sun,
and closed my eyes
savouring the streams of light.

Nobody's here
So do I have to create that someone?
I never did feel belong,
I never seem to hold on to anyone,
since one touch,
they can slowly slip away,
avoiding me like a plague.

Wherever you are,
can you be my friend?
can I be your friend?
Would accept who I am?
would you still like me when you truly see me?

Wherever you are,
Can I hold your hand?
Would you leave?
Would you turn your back on me?
Would you slowly retreat?

Can I ever befriend?
Is it possible to find a true friend?
What does it feel like?
I do not know,
as I do not know what he or she looks like.

My friends are faceless,
I can't pin point anyone,
I just greet them and be nice as usual,
and slowly they fade,
I don't know who are they.

So I'm just sitting here in
this valley of lavender,
hoping it will soothe my soul,
and let me sleep with a smile,
thought crooked it may be,
let me smile and be hopeful
that I will have a friend.

Rants 1

2012!!!....where has the time gone?!!

I apologize for being an inactive blogger and was in hibernate mode for the longest of time. My last post was 2011 Oct. Which was a loooong time ago in a galaxy far away (ok...exaggeration much)  and I feel it is time to give some life to this sleeping dragon until I get bored or clueless of what to write.

2012 has been not so productive for me since I'm waiting for my posting and with that Beluran stint as a guru interim. I have to say our education system truly sucks (sorry my brain is congealed...can't think of a better word). Students graduated with an education degree have almost given up hope for the ministry as priorities were astray and not give to those who deserved their attention. Only now when election is around the corner that things are looking up and of course to no surprise. Since 'good things' usually happen nearing election, if they still want to proceed with it on June. So, less than a week from now will be the real posting and everyone is anxious to know their designated schools. 

As for me, I just hope that wherever I'm going it won't be far from KK and that is all I am hoping for.  All of  this waiting has got to reminisce about those days where I felt that there were no worries. During uni, I would go for lectures, assignments, hanging out with friends at the mall and worrying about mundane things. But now I worry about my future and I regret for wasting time. Whenever I look at friends' FB (facebook) page, I see they were enjoying life, traveling to places I would one day go or never at all, being financially stable, overall being productive. While I look at myself and being blah but the blame is mostly on me, I suppose. 

I've always consider myself as a reserve type of person and keep most things private and being timid as some people might say. I never have the guts to do 'adventurous' things since I'm afraid of failure like most people do. I've never seen myself being courageous or being someone else. You can say I do live in a bubble sometimes. But that doesn't mean I cage myself in a 6 by 8 feet cell. 

Also, I resent people that rant about everything on facebook just to seek attention or waiting others to like their posts. IMO, these people seem to feel that its part of their duty to post everything that happens in their lives in every f*****g second and its pretty annoying. Get a life. Stay away from Facebook once in awhile and get a hobby or something. That's why I rarely post personal stuff on FB 'cause I don't aspire to become an attention whore. 

I think I will continue my rants on the next post....if there is any going to be a next one...hehehe. Just kidding. I see why people rather use blogs as their outlet than the usual facebook and tweeter. Well I do hope that they don't 'campak' me to somewhere even 'ulu' and far this time. Anyways see ya. :)