I'm Happy

I’m here waiting for you,

Where are you now?

Why people keep distancing themselves from me?

Am I a disease?

Am I disabled?

Am I disgusting?

Am I bad?

Am I not good enough?

I was being pushed and pulled,

I stumbled and fell –

On the hard concrete floor,

Bruises and scars here and there,

I know I’m not good enough and –

I’m not righteous like you,

I know I’m not you,

But why do I want more?

I’m lonely,

So I reached to the sky,

And attained the unattainable,

Tears were falling down the slopes of my cheek,

For I was no one,

And I did not have anyone.

That day I saw a shining star,

Yet it was a starless night,

I’m like that lone star,

One by one those around me will dispersed and be gone,

And left one pitiful loner.

I reached into the sky,

To feel the infinite,

And purged all the unwanted,

If you think I’m sick then go,

If you think I’ve contaminated you –

Bleach yourself,

If you think I’m useless then –

Don’t pick me at the first place,

To spare myself the pain.

Maybe it’s alright,

To have little bit a pain,

To have some isolation,

To have some peace of mind,

And then I can slowly drift on the calming river –

and be free to go wherever I’m happy.

Again, again, again

Again, again, and again,

She saw them walking in a distance,

It was close then,

But we are no longer on the same lane,

This happened before and it’s nothing new,

Different people but same happenings.

She was there among the crowd,

She was with them,

She was talking with them,

She was laughing with them,

She was gossiping with them,

She was only among them,

She was, she was, she was…

A girl among her acquaintances,

No I didn’t make a mistake,

Acquaintances no more no less,

She was nothing to them but a pest,

As she was with so many before,

A simple yet deep girl,

With no one to lean on.

No one would make the first move to call her,

No one to confide their secrets because of her over-concerning,

No one to really look at her,

No one to really see her but most of all,

No one to really understand her.

Again, again, again,

She was left behind,

An alien among her kind,

They somehow would walk away from her,

Slowly and gradually,

Then disappear,

Out of sight, out of mind,

Then…

It was all the same thing,

From acquaintances to friends to –

acquaintances to strangers.

Again, again, again….