Time and Time Again

Time and time again,
I failed to find my happiness,
every time I see him,
his eyes shone so brightly,
and yet that starlight is not mine.

I feel this from time and time again,
it is always the same,
nothing changes,
its like this time and time again,
I look but I can't touch,
can't feel.

I want to know how a heart beats so fast
for a person,
I want to have that goofy smile on my face,
I want to see and feel happiness,
I want to be near him,
is that too hard to ask?!

All I can do is sit and wait,
and look as the clouds past me by,
I look up to the heaven,
and see two birds fly by,
as I look longer,
they still stay together,
I wonder,
will I one day find the one?

Time and time again,
I wonder,
sitting on that same old rock by the sea,
wishing and waiting,
as I look at the sky,
maybe he is out there somewhere,
only God knows what life has in store for me,
as I sit here praying -
God please be with me,
as I continue to walk in my pursuit of happiness.

GLASS

I am like glass,
easy to see through,
so easily missed,
so fine yet so tranparent,
so easily break,
so fragile.

Those pieces are scattered,
every piece is my reflection,
my pieces of me,
little by little I pick,
suddenly I see red,
how beautiful it is.

Red like my heart,
that glass is tainted,
bits of flest stuck on it,
each drop is my testimony,
each is my blood.

These pieces are pretty under the light,
they have their sparkle as well,
yet I see them fading,
to nothing.

My heart of glass,
so weak and fragile,
don't come close,
I''m afraid I would shatter and break,
if I do i can't piece myself,
I can't touch such sharp edges,
I am scared to shatter.

I am like glass,
please don't come near,
stay away,
far away as you can,
I think I will go now,
and keep my heart of glass,
lock and key,
so don't come near and farewell.

Scars

I'm covered in scars,
each has its significance,
each has a meaning,
each is embedded in me,
each of them are from battles that I fought.

Some still oozes with red,
some are healing,
some have dried,
like a flower in the garden-
sitting in their respective chamber, waiting.

I can see them on my skin,
what a beauty they are,
yet what a bother,
they can be a sight to behold,
yet they are a disgust,
they are my achievements,
yet they are my failures,
their existence is hard to distinguish.

To numb them,
anesthesia is a must,
oh, how many bottles lying around,
how many I have thrown away,
the pungent smell of it,
gave a relief,
blood does not flow out,
oh, what a relief.

Yet, it is not enough,
they appear again, everyday,
it is like a process,
a cut-
bleed-
and then dry.

The healing of my scars,
such a wonderful feeling,
relief and coolness touched my skin,
my epidermis closing on the wound,
and slowly they all went away,
but for how long?-
till another comes along.

I looked at the sky,
and feel the breeze,
I thought to myself,
I could care less,
I'll let Him be my healer,
and laced my hands together,
as I looked at the clear blue sky.

The Light

It comes and goes,
it triggers something uncertain,
it get so out of hand,
it is like a curse,
it is like your disturbia.

It does not go away so easily,
it desires to consume,
it desires to creep around you,
it like the creature of the night-
that doesn't go disappear.

A world of yin and yang
there is light and-
there is darkness,
there is good-
there is evil,
there is male-
there is female,
and the list just goes on.

It exist within the depth of-
your human mind and soul,
it consumes you when unaware,
it lures you into its web,
it stings you so beware.

You shouldn't be careless,
for it will leave you heartless,
it fills you with its coldness,
it will also leave you breathless.

My dear,
you shouldn't give in,
you can be stronger,
let the Light enter,
ask and it will be answered,
give Him a chance to heal your scars,
and yourself a chance to repent and redeem.

Let the Light be your guide,
only then you can see that glowing star in the night.

The Window

I'm looking at my window,
attempting my fingers to work,
I'm just looking out of my window,
doing nothing in particular,
thinking of nothing in particular.

Then I heard the birds chirp,
they sing as one,
they fly as one,
and when they are done,
again they chirp,
as one.

I see the wind pushing the trees,
the trees are swaying now,
like they are greeting the wind,
again I hear the birds chirp.

I closed my eyes,
I imagined,
something is lingering in my mind,
something in front of me
that I couldn't reach,
its so near yet so far,
then I woke up of my dream.

Again I look out of my window,
Again I force my fingers to move,
Again I am doing nothing in particular,
Again I heard the birds sing.

Number 1

1 is the loneliest number,

I heard it before,

I am that number.

I have other numbers beside me, yet

I don’t feel part of the equation,

I’m only number 1,

Even my mathematical pal said so.

I said before my solitude is my friend,

Yet my enemy,

I’m number 1 but not a winner.

I’m no one special,

I’m a bore,

I’m that last puppy that none wants to adopt.

Even though I felt this before,

It is still hard to come back here again.

Time

As time goes by,

The ticking of hand hop by,

I’ll be standing here with a sigh,

Waiting as the time pass us by,

As I stand here and hear a lie,

I will not say goodbye.

Crying and Mourning

In this life time,

We cried and we moan,

We cried for those who couldn’t,

We moan for those who couldn’t.

This world is filled with hurt,

When sometimes happiness doesn’t work,

Sometimes we need to search in every nook

and cranny for joy.

Farewell to all ye misery,

Toss out all thy unhappiness,

Be joyful as much as ye can,

For we only have this moment.

My Solitude

My solitude is my own,

My solitude my friend,

My solitude my foe,

You gave me loneliness,

Yet you gave me solace,

I am distant from others,

All I have is nothing.