Outside of My Window

I stared outside of my window,
the days passed by in this sweltering heat,
the days have passed as fast as it could,
the days I did not know how long,
I did not really speak to anyone.

I did not really speak,
as there was nothing in common,
nothing I could relate,
I kept quiet,
my thoughts were the only noise it made,
I just sit there with my mouth shut,
staring outside of my window.

The clouds seemed sparse,
just a wash of blue all over,
that clear blue sky,
that I despise,
it was too clear for my liking,
as my feelings are not as clear,
I was truly annoyed.

I turned to my left,
yet no one was truly there,
I could not say as much as I used to,
so I kept mostly to myself,
it was a good endurance test,
to see how much I can keep,
so I stared outside of my window.

But, it was my fault,
as this was not the first,
I am a nobody,
I have nobody here,
everything I touched was ruined,
No one dared to be near me,
well, not many at least.

It was my fault,
I'm sorry,
I could not be your friend,
because I never knew how,
I'm lousy, I know,
again I'm truly sorry.

So today I stare outside my window,
and said nothing,
and I might continue to daydream,
and I would close my eyes,
so that I don't have to see that clear blue sky.